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Coming Home

Coming Home


Melinda Abeles


I was sitting in the pandal beside the Samadhi, reflecting on the most profound experience of my life. It was mid February 2011, a few days before Baba’s birthday celebration. This was my first trip to India, and a few days before, I had laid my head down on Baba’s tomb for the first time.

I had arrived at Meherbad in the afternoon, about teatime, greeted by that amazing painting of Baba above the door of the dining hall that almost sent me to the floor in tears. After settling into my room and having tea, it was time. I had an appointment with God….

All my life had led me to this moment, and it felt like a long convoluted line of dominoes that began at Mt. Zion Hospital in San Francisco at the moment of my first breath this time. He had now flicked this first tile with His index finger, and they were falling fast.

With my red sandals and wet scarves around my head, covering the red rose clip in my hair, I followed the path across the field of India bareness towards and through the living forest of flowering bushes and trees. I cannot explain the feeling other than I felt like a POW who had been in exile for 55 years, who was finally released to come home.

Passing other pilgrims on the path, the only words spoken in whispers were, “Jai Baba… Jai Baba…”, eyes meeting in acknowledgement, and onward my feet stepped as the dominoes were falling just behind me. The closer I came to the Samadhi, the closer and faster they fell.

Suddenly in disbelief the Samadhi was there. I placed myself at the end of the queue as the tears of unbelievable release and relief began. Someone beautiful in front of me heard my sniffling and handed me some tissue which I had forgotten to bring…  and slowly I moved forward towards the end of the long road home.

My turn came and abit confused with unknown formalities, I stepped onto and over the threshold, leaving a dusty footprint behind. Each breath of my life had led to this moment… the last domino falling as I walked forward and kneeled and placed my forehead onto the edge of the marble. I was immediately pulled out of my body into the universe of stars. I was formless and merged and I knew beyond any shadow of doubt,  that every soul in the universe was right behind me.   Every soul on Earth and everywhere,  was on their way Home.

So here is the drawing of that experience, done that morning a few days later in the pandal next to the Samadhi. It expresses that moment in the best way I know how to express it,  as only a picture can. As I was drawing,   a group of shining young boys from the Meher English School,  came to watch.  I gave them all pieces of paper from my book and offered them to use my pencils. They were thrilled at the opportunity to draw and all drew the Samadhi in their own way. I was way more thrilled than they were!

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