An Artist’s Pain
An Artist’s Pain
I’ll tell another story in the way I felt it, and how I experienced it, I’ll try to say it. The girl was an artist that I met, and she felt her talents were all locked up inside of her. She was just so miserable, and she said she didn’t feel like she could feel any kind of release of anything. While walking around the Center, she was talking about being an artist, how she was all locked up and tied up inside, and how much she would just like to be able to be free of that and be able to paint again.
She must have so much enjoyed painting. I could tell the pain that it all brought her. There was so much pain in her, and I was feeling this as she was expressing it to me, of being an artist, and of what she was seeing here at the Center. She was seeing all the beauty. It’s always a beautiful time to be on the Center, but the trees had so much color and it was so beautiful at that time. She was telling me how she would paint the picture of what she was seeing. It was so absolutely beautiful and I was watching her. So I gave her a complete tour and she was enjoying it, but she wanted so much to be able to go home and paint what she was seeing and feeling. We walked to the Barn and she said nothing, I didn’t even say anything, we just walked in we stayed silent, and then when we walked out I was going to start telling her all about the Barn, because most of the time I do that and explain things, but this time it was just silence.
When we came out she said, “Oh, I feel like I’m in paradise, this is absolutely paradise. This is paradise here.” I could tell as she was saying it, everything was like unlocked. She was all of a sudden being able to break through what was binding her before, and she said, “I feel like I can paint this, I feel this now, I sense this, I feel it. I can tell, if I had a brush in my hand right now I know exactly what I would do.” She was just so elated and so excited about it, and I could tell, yes, she’ll go home and she will be able to do this now.
As we walked back and I could tell her a little bit about the Barn and all, she says, “Oh, I know just how I’m going to paint it, I know what it will look like. I can see it now, it’s all coming clear.” It was so beautiful to watch this take place with this beautiful artist who was in such agony over having her talents, as she felt, absolutely stripped from her, taken away. How she was hurting so much because of it, and not once dreaming that when she came to the Center this would happen. On the same path back I could even see our footprints in the sand. The way back was entirely different, the feelings of everything were entirely different with her. At one point I couldn’t resist to turn back and look at the footprints we made coming back on the first footprints going, and I just looked and said, “Oh Baba, Baba, thank you, thank you, it’s so beautiful, it’s so beautiful to see this.”
So there’s so many wonderful experiences that I had during these years of giving these tours and I so thoroughly enjoyed those moments, and being able to witness such love and Baba’s touch and brightness that He brought to so many beautiful souls. I always thank God that I could do it, and experience the love they felt as was given to me just watching. So beautiful.